Rodger the Dodger

Mister Clemens, please tell me, what is the truth?
Did steroids and chemicals help you improve?
Or are you the hero I read about it books?
Mister Clemens, please tell me, what is the truth?

Why, oh why, would you lie to the Feds?
If they catch you, you know you are dead.
Won't they just measure your expanding head?
Why, oh why, would you lie to the Feds?

Rodger, hey Rodger, was it perjury?
I wasn't convinced with your testimony.
I came away thinking you were lying to me.
So Rodger please tell me if it was perjury.

Does Clemens deserve to go the Hall of Fame?
Did he embarrass his Holy name?
Has he destroyed his only claim,
That he is so worthy as the best in the game?

Spygate

The Patriots have become a great dynasty
But now it's tainted with controversy.

Belichick, it seems, taped since he arrived.
Is that the reason the Patriots thrive?

The coaches are the ones who are to blame.
The players just go out and play a good game.

Brady is Brady and one of the best,
But did the advantage help him pass the test?

It sure seems to me New England had an edge
And Beli-cheat's antics are hard to defend.

Don't punish the players for the coach's dirty trick,
But the Patriot wins should come with an asterick.

NBA Trade deadline Haiku

King James gets his wish
Wallace and Wally join Cavs
Will it lead to rings?

Ring the Bell

Outscored forty-one zero by Kobe,
And only pulling down one rebound in the game,
Raja Bell suffered a fate worse than those.
Late in the fourth defending Kobe's drive,
Shaq's elbow connects right on Bell's bald head.
Down goes Raja! Raja Bell goes down hard!
Weakly rising to his knees, Bell walks away.
But within seconds a golf ball appears.
Lesson to all Sun players is engrained:
A new force is here, don't get in his way!

Tiger Prevails

Out in the desert, out in the sun,
All of the golfers are gunning for number one.
Holmes had his shot to knock off the best.
His early success put Tiger to the test.
But Woods made a run as only Woods knows he can.
Four straight birdies showed he is the best in the land.
Tiger rebounded nicely after such a slow start.
Betting against Tiger just is not smart.
Next up is Oberholser, slotted number nine,
For Aaron to win, he must play divine.

The Return of Shaq

The Lakers and Suns soon are underway
All eyes are focused on Shaq verses L.A.
Will Kobe and Diesel kiss and make up?
The overall hype just might make you throw up.
But this is the biggest regular season game in years.
Phoenix and L.A. areteams others fear.
The game should be better than the overwhelming hype
With plenty of offense and not much defense (which could be a gripe).